Robert Hall writes from Dallas, Texas. He is a recovering CEO, executive coach, author, and speaker on relationships.
When people experience an opioid high, they feel warmth, safety and love…that’s because opioid systems have evolved in part to fuel the good feelings people get from spending time with friends and family.
Steven Chang, assoc. prof. neuroscience, Yale
My wife’s Chronic Leukemia recently resurfaced, and she is undergoing another round of chemo treatment that further exacerbates her already compromised immune system. Due to Covid risks, we have virtually quarantined for the last several months. Her wonderful doctor, Dr. Awan, changed his advice last week. Here is what he said: “Covid is not going away. You must live your life. Our patients don’t do as well when they are socially isolated. You can go to the grocery store but go in off-peak times. You can shop but don’t go to Costco during the rush. You can go to church – but don’t hug/kiss people – try to sit away from them. You can be with your family and grandkids so long as everyone is well, vaccinated and masked. You can go to a restaurant but don’t sit at a bar or in a waiting area with large groups of people.”
Have we entered a new Covid era? One where new Covid variants emerge as an ever-present threat. But also, where the aloneness of social distancing, loss of social gathering and the reliance on technological transactions to replace human interactions pose an equal or greater threat than the deadly virus. In 20 years will we look back and call this the Relationship Pandemic? What if in the debates about whether to stay open or closed, both sides were mostly right and somewhat wrong?
That is exactly what the U.S. Surgeon General’s recently issued public health advisory on the mental health crisis points to: The Covid pandemic is now also a mental health pandemic, especially for our youth. Mounting evidence makes the case: Symptoms of depression and anxiety have doubled during the pandemic, with 25% of youth experiencing depressive symptoms and 20% anxiety symptoms. Suspected suicides, already at an all-time high prior to Covid, were 51% higher for girls and 4% for boys over 2019. Drug overdose deaths across all age groups have doubled compared to 2015.
The advisory concludes that nearly two years of disruption have taken a toll worldwide on what was already a worsened mental health near-crisis, and it is especially acute for immigrants, students with disabilities and students of color from low-income families.
As we continue to fight Covid in all its variants, each of us must also reimagine how we will reconstruct our new social reality – not in a post-Covid world but in an ever-present Covid world. While we mitigate the risk of Covid, we must also mitigate the risk of isolation, loss of relationships and loss of human interaction.
We must reverse the process of social distancing and isolation that Covid has accelerated – move from de-socialize to re-socialize our world. We must learn how to draw close. Where Covid forced us to suspend virtually all in-person interactions, we must set new reengagement goals and work out how to reengineer social interaction in the new normal. We must reimagine and repurpose technology and social media as tools to organize relational re-engagement (versus relational withdrawal). Physical proximity matters. And we must take intentional action to de-polarize differences within our groups. Being together and connected must become a higher ideal than being right or pure on divisive issues.
Each of our circumstances and risks are different and each of our decisions will be unique. Covid will continue to surprise us. “Re-entry” may be difficult for many who have become acclimated to isolation. But we must recognize the risk of our isolation and learn how to re-socialize in our omni-present Covid world.
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